I currently feel as if most companies have their customer support run by morons. Either they don’t know how to fix your problems, they don’t know how to properly treat you as a customer, or both.

Last night, my friend Poncho was upset about how he bought a $100 yo-yo from the YoYoFactory, and a crucial part fell off. He went to this yo-yo company’s customer service and suggested that they have a warning label of some sort, but the company representatives immediately ridiculed him for his “stupid” comment.

Below is what my friend Poncho asked to the YoYoFactory:

I’ve been throwing my 888 for a few days now, and up until this point it’s been hands-down the best yoyo I’ve ever used. Just now I picked it up and threw it again, and, miraculously, the silicone rings were gone. I haven’t unscrewed it once today until now, but there’s no doubt that they have somehow managed to dislodge themselves from their seats, tear, and completely detach from the yoyo. The 888 is an astounding yoyo, no doubt- perfectly silent, tight binds, long sleepers and astounding suicide loops. Until worlds, I haven’t posted much in a while, so I don’t know if this issue is common. I payed $100 for this yoyo, though, and it was worth the price until this happened. I can pay $15 for a Freehand and the friction stickers won’t fall off the yoyo.

I don’t know what my point is, really, I’m just saying that I wasn’t warned to buy replacement rings for when they inevitably fall off my yoyo, and as such do not have any way at the moment to return this thing to playing how I’d wanted. Come on.

To me, it sounds like a pretty friendly, non hostile/offensive request. There were tens of responses, but the one that stuck out was the response YuuKi Spencer gave: (YuuKi is a two-time world yoyo champion, including this year, and the most prominent member of yoyofactory’s contest team)

Quit your bickering.

Im sorry, should we have printed how to put a yoyo string on the yoyo and how to clean your bearing somewhere with the packaging?

Poncho let me lead you through how to tie a slip knot. Or do you want an instruction on how to place friction stickers on other yoyos as well? How about opening the yoyo? Do you know how to do that?

Or maybe how to operate a laundry machine to wash your ol dirty bstard shirt?

If it were up to me id have you send that yoyo back and i would refund you youre money, and at the same time cut off your purchasing ability from ever buying any silicon yoyo ever again.

Please poncho, do not buy, trade, or in anyway get a hold of my signiture 888 when it comes out. I dont want it in your hands.

This is probably the nastiest response from customer service I’ve ever seen. It’s clear that Yuuki is an amazing yoyoer, but he’s in the business of yoyo design and production. He’s failed miserably in managing profitable business relationships, and I really hope this fu*ks him over big time. This goes with all companies like AOL who make it incredibly difficult to leave their service.

If YuuKi had treated Poncho’s suggestion with respect, he could be seeing so much more business. Poncho evangelizes products like no other. He managed to convince 30 kids at Simon’s Rock College to go to a Brazilian shit porn party. (don’t ask) He managed to convince me to buy a no name tooth paste that was amazing. He’s super passionate about everything he does and everything he buys, but the YoYoFactory lost his trust. If you don’t know already, Poncho Peligroso is a sophomore film major at Simon’s Rock who has been yoyoing since 2001, formerly sponsored by Buzz-On yoyos, and has competed in state, regional, national and world competitions.

Steve Brown, another company representative at YoYoFactory, responded with the following:

“I really truly believe that if you are paying $60 or more for a yo-yo, no one should have to explain a damn thing to you. If you can’t understand it or figure it out on your own then you have no business owning it.”

Once again, terrible customer service. What the hell was this moron thinking? Poncho DOES know how to fix the yoyo and wasn’t asking for instructions, but was pointing out that nowhere was it indicated that he would even have to do that. Looking into Steve Brown’s history further shows that he worked with Duncan as a designer and demonstrator, got fired, and is now part of the yoyofactory contest team. It doesn’t matter how amazing he is at designing yoyos, but if only he was able to learn how to treat customers with respect…

May I interest you in a video of Poncho and his amazing Yo-Yo skills?

Jessica Mah is a 17 year old entrepreneur, blogger, and sophomore in college. She’s currently the founder of a startup, managing editor at Startupism.com, SimonsRockers.com, and Jessicamah.com.

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