I’ve found this to be true across every type of relationship: friends, family, colleagues, classmates, and of course, significant others. My parents complain to me that my brother doesn’t call them as frequently as I do… and they complain not just because my brother doesn’t call them, but because their expectations of communicating with my brother are simply different from theirs. Or how about that school project where all 5 of your team members seem to suck? One of my classmates was complaining that all of the nerds in his computer science class weren’t putting in any work, but it’s not a problem of work ethic so much as its a problem of not setting proper expectations from day one.

When I was recruiting our lead product person to join Indinero, he had already prepared himself to tell me he wasn’t interested. His reasoning had nothing to do with the idea, the team, or anything related to the business. He was just scared that our expectations of him would far exceed what he was capable of, when we were actually on the same page all along. Since then, he’s been tremendously helpful to the company.

How often do you hear of personal relationships not working out? In almost every case of a breakup, it’s that the expectations were off. The guy wanted a casual relationship, the girl wanted more. It’s very instinctual, but most people just don’t communicate these things. So when the guy starts talking about what he wants in his next girlfriend, the girl’s shocked to find out that he hadn’t even considered her for marriage. What a disaster…

Not only should expectations be set, but they should be higher than what you’re personally expecting. It’s like financial planning – you have your “ideal scenario”, but in the back of your mind, you know you’ll never hit those benchmarks.

Set high expectations, expect low results. Then you’ll never be disappointed again!