“Nice to meet you! My name’s Jessica Mah and I have thirty seconds to determine whether or not you’re a person worth knowing. If I don’t like you, I’ll promptly ask for your business card and find someone else to meet.”

Unfortunately, the above quote defines how I see networking in Silicon Valley. Networking involves making superficial relationships, where you determine what the other person does, and if they’re smart/connected/wealthy enough for you to want to befriend them. All the incredible people in the valley don’t network because they realize that it’s likely that people will just suck up to them. Instead of doing typical silicon valley networking, I prefer making true relationships while ignoring the superficial tendencies of doing business.

I’ve found that my most helpful connections are people who I met through non-superficial means. I would befriend people because I enjoyed their company and intellectual curiosity. I typically surround myself with people who are ambitious people who either want to create amazing companies or do good for the world. Basically, people who I’d without hesitation recommend for a TED membership. And more often than not, they end up doing amazing things. Because they’re genuine relationships, they’re more likely to help me out with social support, business advice, or introductions to other influential people.

I see good networking as involving a lot of serendipity. You meet people who you doubt will be helpful to you in any way, but they often end up being much more influential than you originally think. Genuine friendships help you out in many ways that you’d never predict. Whenever I meet someone new, I fit them into a social profile to see how similar they are to me. And if they fit into the criteria, they’re bound to be an amazing connection in *some* way that I may not be able to predict. This social profile of mine involves ambition, intellectual curiosity, interestingness, and kindness. I’d have to write another blog post to describe this criteria in further depth.

The bottom line: Networking can only do so much for you. Try to make genuine friendships and don’t expect them to help you out in amazing ways. Making friendly with people who are hot shit wont get you far if they know that you’re using them. When *networking*, invest your time in befriending people who you find interesting and ambitious, regardless of their net worth.